Late Night Wonders

I'm 23 I'm allowed to worry. I'm allowed to think years into the future and worry. That's what people who are in my shoes do. We worry that since graduation, or since we moved out, we would have all our stuff in order. We think that by now we would be well into that career we had built our future on. We think that instead of being awake all night worrying that we would be getting that 8 hours of sleep and waking up early to make breakfast or something productive. But instead that's what doesn't happen. We worry. I wish more than anything that I didn't have to freak out that I'm not where I had thought I was gonna be. Instead I binge watch Netflix, casually eats 3 chick-O-sticks, and gets 3 hours of sleep. I juggle the one class, 8 hours of work, 3 hours of gym and all the fun crap that falls in between. 

So why is it that I lie awake wondering if I'll ever have my own kids. Wondering if I ever get to be the cop I wanted to be. Wondering if I'll even get to be married. Wondering if I'll ever not lie alone in bed at night worrying. Why?