People always tell me that I'll find Mr. Right when I stop looking or least expect it. Okay, so here's a good question, why? Why do I need to stop looking and not be prepared to meet the guy I'm supposed to be with? Fair question right? I could go on and on with questions that start out with why? But I also know that the people that I am asking do not have the right answers. I don't think anyone would have the right answer for me.
It just seems a little unfair. Here I am, a young, hip and down with the times gal, someone who likes to stay inside when it rains and watch movies and on occasionally likes to run outside and run through puddles or whatever. I love staying inside but also enjoy going out and being around people. There are times where I will be so deep into a book, but will have time to put it down and go out and watch a new movie I may or may not like.
I need to be honest, if I hear another person tell me how amazing I am or that I am "the complete package" I will punch someone in the throat. I get told all the time about my characteristics and how lucky my future husband is going to be. I already know that I am musically inclined, that I'm athletic, that I'm smart, funny, and so on. I already know these things, thank you for pointing them out to me. What I need is that second part to show up sometime. Its getting a little redic that I'm sitting here waiting.
So I got sick of listening to that. I get sick of beating myself up that I may have already dated Mr. Right and my time is gone. So I decided that I would get out there and put myself out there and not worry. I jumped on the dating apps. I went to singles ward. I texted those guys who gave me their numbers from work. You wanna know what happened, well let me tell you. I put myself out there and felt like I let myself and everyone else down. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt like these people on these dating apps only want you to put out or get out. So then I turn around and go to singles ward, and all they want to do is marry you after meeting ya for a few weeks. Then, not to sound super conceited, but these people who don't seem like the ones anyone would marry as quick get married. They go on more dates than me. It just doesn't seem fair.
I know, at this point I'm a little bitter, I've been doing this for going on 7 years and I don't get anywhere. So after not getting my answer to WHY I guess I can start asking How I go about this. It's not doing me any good. I keep getting the same thing, go out more, date more people, get out there. So here's where I get confused. How come I don't see any results from this. Its starting to piss me off. Here I am doing all the things that I am asked and I am not getting anywhere. Does anyone feel the same way or am I the only one? Yeah, just me?
So I guess what I am trying to say is that, its always easy to ask why in this certain situation, but if you ask how you go about this it makes no difference. I honestly feel like I am spinning in circles. I do what I'm asked, I feel like I'm a good person who goes about life, and I feel like I have a pretty sweet jeep that many would like to take for a spin. I mean, I am not a completely ugly person, I'm not the smartest but I know a thing or two. I'm not the skinniest nor am I the biggest person. I know,,I'm just the perfect catch and no one can handle all of this.
I'm not sure where I heard this, but I was talking so someone about this stuff. They asked me a good question, "Are you looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?" I guess I'm always on the prowl for Mr. Right now, but always looking for Mr. Right? So as a twenty-something, its always been easy to fall into the right now category. Desperately wanting something that everyone else your age has. Its hard to see all these people your age getting married, having kids, engaged, and not in that order. Its just frustrating. So if anyone can answer why it is so hard for someone of my stature and appearance or whatever, to be stuck in this rut? Is it a rut? Its more of a place where smart, good looking people with "the total package" go to. Is there a place for those of us people who are alike to go and meet and get it over with?
Maybe its that I am too "awesome" or that I "have the total package" or maybe its that I'm an old soul and don't like conforming to the way things are done now days. I like to date various people, to then single it down, then date that person for a while. I understand that people are so focused on getting married and starting a family, but I don't think that things should be rushed. I mean if I don't have kids before 30 like I had hoped and dreamed that's fine. I mean I thought I had everything planned out, but it only took one wrong turn and that was dragged out for years. So things happen. But its definitely set me back a long ways.
So maybe, my future husband and father of my children is reading this. Just know that I really have been a hot mess my life. But remember that I may have tried to give up and wanted a map and directions to get to where I am or to you, but it definitely was not easy. So, maybe he isn't reading this, but maybe someone out there is reading this and maybe wants to take a chance on someone out of their league because they have the entire package. Maybe you'll take a chance on that girl who isn't the thinnest, but definitely can keep up with the guys in basketball. Maybe she'll look at you and wonder why on earth that guy is talking to her and why its terrible timing. But here's the things we're all sick of hearing, it will happen when you least expect it. That doesn't mean you should stop looking. That doesn't mean you should sit down and pout. It means, that you can take some time and cry it out, feel like crap, but stand back up wipe your face and get back out there. Things happen for a reason, and they are timed perfectly.
I write this, well mostly because I hear it all the time, and maybe if I told someone else, maybe someone who is in the same boat I am, or not, then I'll get the point. I kinda hold on to the past way too much, but maybe I need to tell someone to let go of the past so that I'm not a hypocrite and do as I preach. Its so weird for me to say this, I tell my best friend and he tells me all the time. But it means a lot more coming from the outside. Its probably also because we tell each other this all the damn time. Its fine. We'll get over this and then we'll be in our 30's totally fine with the idea that we will never get married, but that would make us some kick ass aunts and uncles, or someone who spends their time giving.
As a twenty-something, it sucks to be told the same thing over and over again. Its going to seem like noting is ever going to work out, but there is a time and there is a place for things. Its easy for me to say this because I believe in something to which time is never specified, but its always promised. If you believe in fate, you are my hero. If you're a realist, just know that if you don't think you're doing anything right, change. Those of you who are pessimistic, get the hell over it. Life is too short, we can all agree on that. We never know when we're gonna go. So get out there, get your heart broke, let someone put it back together, dance your heart out, eat that tub of ice cream, work too much, learn even more. But don't stop. I like to think that I'm a realist, I tell it how it is. I believe in fate/destiny, I believe that you can be the most pessimistic person and still have a bright outlook on life.I believe in a higher power that doesn't tell us when anything is going to happen, but tells us that it will happen and that we need to be patient. So be patient, love a lot, cry, laugh, get your heart broken, but never stop standing up. Never give up on something that you want.
XO,
MelFlo
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