I sit here, typing this up knowing damn well that someone is going to read this, that I would least expect, and they are going to mention this post in a group of my fellow peers. And, I know damn well that I'm going to laugh uncomfortably and look for the nearest exit. That usually is what happens, I post something here, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter and yall feel the need to bring that up while I'm surrounded by people who I wish so dearly that they didn't have to know that side of MelFlo.
I've said it before, "I'm an open book for the most part" but to an extent. I like people to know that I don't like to keep my opinion to myself. I like people to know that I am human. I'm not ashamed of my past OR present. But only when I feel like they should know. I've gotten so much better at just saying "who cares" or "eff it" and not caring what people think. But what I am about to share with you, you may never look at "cool, hip, funny, awesome, yaddya, yaddya, yaddya " MelFlo the same. I know someone somewhere is going to bring it up, I promise not to throat punch you physically..
Tonight at work, for dinner they had pork chops, and I decided to look for something else. So to the fridge I went. I recalled that my sister said that they had meatloaf the other day for lunch. And let me tell you how long I had been looking forward to some of that. I heated myself up a hearty porportion, did I mention how much I liked meatloaf? Well, here's the downside to meatloaf, its packed with grease, and well, it doesn't sit too well in my stomach.
A few hours later, I was camped out at the stairs, playing a game on my phone, and procrastinating going back to actually working, when I could hear Peter, my work husband,'s voice along with another. We have this semi inside joke about ducks wandering the facility that are easily mistaken for flatulence. Well I, from the top of the stairs yelled down, "hey babe, I have a present for you," and let out a squeaker. It was loud enough for Peter and the person whom I had thought was another staff to hear and begin to cuckle. Peter came to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up, "damn babe those ducks out walking again?" And here's where you're gonna judge, I said, "yeah I would be nice if those *effing* ducks would calm down, I wish the didn't always show up after meatloaf." Well I tend to keep my potty mouth under wraps around my supervisor and the students. I bet you can't guess who poked their little curious head around the corner of the stairs. If you're thinking it was my supervisor, yeah, you were right.
The words, "oh *eff*" just flowed right out of my mouth. Along with the statement, "I honestly couldn't be more *effing* embarrassed. Oh lord, have mercy. It was that damn meatloaf." I glance over at Peter, and the man is hunched over the handrail laughing and snickering. Then comes up for air, with a gaaaaassssp and a bright red face. That man knew how embarrassed I was. Oh sweet nibblets. I've had some sketchy embarrassing moments in my life, but I'm pretty sure that this one nearly takes the cake. Speaking of cake, moments before this, I was down in the cafeteria getting pie. Yeah, yeah, cake/pie its one in the same. And talking about how I have had several embarrassing moments. I cant go a week without one. So for this to follow up, I had to tell my supervisor after my mishap, "remember how we were talking about my embarrassing moments here, this one is by far the worst."
He was giggling through this entire ordeal. So I politely asked if I could be excused for the rest of the night. He asked why, and I said, "I need to go to the hospital to get both my feet removed from my mouth and ass."
I wish this was the only scenario where this has happened. I talked about my Kick Kick Fart memory from when I was 6 and fell down the stairs. *Family Favorite story* One time I went to prove that I could do a handstand like all the other girls, and I may have pushed too hard. There was this one time when I was in Idaho for a reunion, and we had this Gigantic rubber ball. And we were basically playing soccer and we could push it with our hands. So my uncle was yelling, "PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!" So I put my whole weight into it, and well I over did it and let one rip. My uncle says, "Not that hard." And that story folks is my dad's favorite one to share of me at family outings.
I'll try harder to post more funny stuff, I mean I have some good thoughts, but I know that the majority of you hand full of people that read this are here for the laughs and not my intellectual or poor me thoughts. I also had to be told to post this one. So if its an inaccurate account of what happened, I am sorry, because I just remember realizing that my supervisor was like, "oh hello Mel." and then I sort of blacked out laughing from embarrassment.
See, I am human. I mess up. I swear at work, I pass gas, I make jokes, and I laugh uncontrollably when embarrassed, hurt, or uncomfortable. Its completely normal.I have officially found that my place here at work is to lighten the mood, and occasionally have to be the big bad guy, but mostly laughs. I'm not going to be mad about that, I like to see others enjoy themselves, even if it is at my own expense. Sometimes it sucks for a little, but I thoroughly enjoy others laughing and enjoying my stories, or well more so of my embarrassments. So to summarize, I guess sometimes you have to say "*eff* it" and just laugh at certain things. You have to laugh at yourself and get on with it. You have to realize that the only opinion that matters is your own. If you are not ok with a situation, say something and or leave. If you have a problem, YOU have the problem. But just keep in mind, its easier to laugh than to be mad.
Life is too short not to laugh at the little things.
XO,
MelFlo
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