I love taking off to the mountains and enjoying things by myself, Yeah, I wish that I didn't have to be by myself all the time, I mean some company would be nice. But ya know what, all yall that aren't begging to go with me on my Wednesday Adventures are missing out. I know my driving isn't the best, but I've yet to kill anyone or get in an accident. I tend to find some cool [things] out there.
My drives aren't always about the sunset, but that does help. I do have this weird thing for sunsets. But here's the trick, you have to wait for the perfect moment. When I first moved to St George my friend Trevar took me out to Gunlock Resivor. I mean we drove at least 70 on that road. Not safe, yeah I know, but we were in a hurry. I didn't really know what exactly was going on but guess what. We came flying into the res and he grabbed me by the hand and took me to the back of his truck and sat on his tailgate. Let me tell you how amazing that sunset was. It sealed the deal for another date, no worries.
I guess that's officially when my sunset addiction started. It's kind of funny. You have to wait for the perfect time for it. You need to recognize when its happening. But it is kind of hard when you continually think that something better is coming. There's always another day, the sun WILL rise and it will set.
It scares me that we may not know when we might not see the sun again. No stay with me on this one. We never know when our last day may be. We never KNOW. We know that "time" is a constant thing, but we don't know when it stops being constant for us. I have had a lot of time figuring out myself while exploring the back roads of Utah. I've talked to the good lord more than I've talked to anyone else. There's just been a lot going on that I feel like I need some guidance on. And I can't seem to find any answers on my own or with the help of any of the people closest to me. No dog on them, its just I don't feel like the things they're saying help.
Wednesday I drove up to Seegmiller Mountain, it overlooks St George Area as well as Warner Valley, and much of the AZ Strip. It's quite the view up there. I climbed to the top of my Jeep and had a moment. I went to take a picture of how amazing it was up there, and the first thing I see is the St George Temple. That's 3 thousand feet below me and 27 miles away. This is pretty neat considering how blind I am. And I literally hit my knees and just poured my heart out. I wanted to cry at how horrible my life is and how nothing is working, but that's not what came out of my mouth. Instead, I ended up being thankful. Being thankful for every day that I am blessed with. For the opportunity that I am presented each week to be thankful for my family, and that the time I get to spend with them. I was grateful for the opportunity have to push myself every Sunday to stay up 8 more hours after a 12 hour shift to get my butt to church. I thanked that man upstairs for having blessed me with the opportunity to follow my gut and move down here.
So many things have fallen in and out of place, but that's just how the cookie crumbles. *oreo if you were wondering* I couldn't get my lips to ask for anything. And after I opened my eyes, bam, right on that temple. I turned to the west and saw one hell of a sunset. Not the best, but that timing couldn't have been better. I've told you before, I don't believe in fate or luck, but I do know things happen at every given moment for a reason. I know it doesn't mean much to yall, and I've only expressed my views on this blog one other time. And it was almost an exact 2 years ago. Funny...
After I snapped that sunset pic, I climbed on into the MFCuteness and made my way back home. Normally I tend to listen to some Classic Hard Rock, but I turned off the stereo. And for 27 miles all I could think of was my favorite scripture. Shocker, its in the bible. Its Psalms 23.
1- The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2- He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3- He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4- Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5- Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6- Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Life is gonna suck at times, but its not going to always suck. We are never alone. There's so much in this life to think all we do is live and die. There's just so much to be thankful for, to be happy that I know that whatever I am going through I don't go alone. I chuckled because it says "valley of the shadow of death" and when I finally got to the top of the mountain, the shadow of the day was covering the valley below. Made me laugh because that temple is so, excuse the language, but its SO DAMN WHITE I can see it miles away and 3 thousand feet higher than where it sits. "thou art with me."
My questions weren't answered the way I felt they needed to be answered, but they were answered nonetheless. We are never alone, there's so much more to this life. Maybe that's why I love sunsets is because there's always a tomorrow, whether I am here or not. This place that we dwell in is but a small pinpoint on the spectrum of what exists. We are blessed beyond measure, and so many things get taken for granted. We get so caught up in the things of the world, sometimes we need to take a step back and be grateful for the things in our life.
My mom once read me a poem, its from the Outsiders, more so Robert Frost. She was a Reading and English Teacher, so sometimes I pay attention. Its called Nothing Gold Can Stay.
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day,
Nothing gold can stay.
Get out there and find something worth being thankful for. There's plenty.
XO,
MelFlo
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