Let's Face It I'm Gonna Die Alone.. But That's Ok!

Picture if you will, a young beautiful woman, in her twenties, living the life, and married, successful, and just a joy to be around. Now throw me into that scenario, I know! That wasn't me you were picturing, I know; that's alright. I'm just a dysfunctional, 

little larger than life,

 not entirely successful-I do have a full time job and did just get a raise...of $.25.

 I'm still going to school, who seriously is still going to school after 4 years...me. I changed my degree like 3 times before I finally decided on one. 

And I am semi independent, yeah mom and dad still help me out here and there, like wonderful parents would. :)

Let me get to my point, I get tired of the questions: Why aren't you married, and Why don't you have kids? 

Firstly, if I knew why I wasn't married I would have fixed my current situation. Secondly, there is no way in hell that I'm having kids. Sorry, I've already gone through childhood- I don't wanna do it again. 

Why would I want a child like myself? Nah uh, I know the hell I put my parents through. I witnessed first hand how kids can be sweet than next thing you know they're throwing spoons in the house and breaking windows!

And when they are sweet like making food for their parents, they occasionally set the stove on fire. There are days where you wish that you could beat the stupid out of them but then you realize that they're kinda funny and smart. 

I don't have the time to wait to find out if they have potential to be something. Lol.

I would rather be the cool Aunt, who does legit stuff, and has cool things because she doesn't have kids. Lol. We all know that relative. 

Well, and apparently this is severely frowned upon in the dating of LDS community...well at least here in good ol' Utah. So Yall need to ease up off my case. I'm easily persuaded but right now I just don't have that desire... I am not the  majority of women my age. 

I would like to think of adulthood as an amusement park. There are rides where you're like "YES YES YES, I want to ride that one." Then there are rides where you're like, "nah, I think I'll pass." Having little "Melanies" and "Melvins" running around is one of those "nah" rides. Ok, I really wouldn't name my kids after me, nor would I ever name anything Melvin-that is prime material for bullies. 

There may come a day where I do get married, and there may come another day when I want kids, but as of night now I would really appreciate people easing up off my back-and those others like myself- and letting me live my ever-so-boring life. But if that day is not to come, because I am a pain in the [bottom] I will live the average life of American, watching sappy romantic comedies and diving into a tub of Ben&Jerry's every Saturday night, and work until I die and be just fine-which i is exactly what I'm doing now--but let's pray I won't still be trying to graduate from college at the lovely age of 89.