"Put One Foot In Front Of The Other.."

I drove for two hours, went to the gym and ran a few miles, got yogurt at work, and have listened to the same song since 12:30, it's 430 right now. I drove up to my favorite spot and watched the sky. :) for some reason that seems to calm me. Maybe it's cause it reminds me of home, being by my mom, my not so little puppy, my family. I miss sleeping outside on the trampoline at night, running around town till the late hour of 11pm, catching fireflies in the field next to my house. I miss it all. Adulthood sucks. 

I wish there was some way I could tell little MelFlo what lies ahead in this crappy world. I'd tell mini Mel, to get her crap in order and not take crap from anyone, to not hit left handed that one game and instead break the state record for most home runs. I'd tell little Mel, to not dink around in high school and take those college classes serious. Id make sure MelFlo took care of those two girls that ruined my sisters knees. I'd tell mini Mel to tell her mom sorry and I love you.  And I'd probably not call my brother that mean word that caused him to chuck a skateboard at my face and scar my face haha. 

Oh how id love to change it all. But when you change the past you change the future. Just like Marty McFly, if you change the past your parents never meet...except I wouldn't go that far back. Same principle though. I wouldn't have the friends I do now, I wouldn't have the education I have, the family, relationships I had/have. That's what sucks. Would you be willing to change the past for a different future? As much as I'd love to, I don't think I could. I wish I knew what was gonna happen all the time, but there's nothing good about that. You don't learn if you don't make mistakes. You don't learn to let go when you want to hold on. When you close your eyes you don't get to see the things that make you scared. You don't know why you're scared. When you hold back you never get to know what it's like to let it all go. And all vice verse. There's an old Christmas movie, it's where Chris Cringle teaches the Winter Warlock how to walk. And my mother used to always sing it to us growing up, "just put one foot in front of the other..." And I guess that's what we good do. Keep on walking. Keep walking even if you don't have an idea where you're going. Just keep on walking.