Let Her Cry

Don't ever, for any reason, cry yourself to sleep. Whether you had a bad day, or are just so thankful for life, itself, just don't do it. You wake up needing 3 monsters, a redbull, and all the mountain dew that's left in the fountain machine. Because you're just so exhausted.

Alright speaking from experience, just don't do it.

But every now and then let a good cry out. You need to have one of those. Gonna spill the beans a little, MelFlo does cry. I FREAKING KNOW, WHAT A SHOCKER. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, I like to shove all my emotions down inside until I explode and binge watch something on Netflix, call into work sick, and eat all of the Salt Water Taffy in town. But today was different. I went to bed last night, bawling my eyes out. 

I hit my knees and prayed until I fell asleep. I haven't gotten down on my knees and had a good chat with the Man upstairs for quite some time. I just had to thank him for watching out for Zach in Ghana for 2 years. For keeping me safe through all my Jeeping shenanigans. For tossing a few new good people into my life. For blessing me with two new Nephew(s)-I'm calling it now, Tia's having a boy. For just keeping me going.cause he knows how much I've wanted to throw in the towel. I just can't believe how blessed I am in this life, sure things come up and happen but overall I'm so much better than I was even a year ago.

A year ago, I was sitting at a job I didn't necessarily hate, but I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do.

A year ago, I was wondering what this life was all about. Why it felt like the Good Lord didn't ever want me to be with anyone but myself.

A year ago, I was content with being Aunt Mel. And just that.

A lot changes in a year. From roommates, to towns, to jobs, school, whatever.... a lot changes. And as much as you don't think it does, it changes a person.

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY

I'm sitting at a job that sure as hell challenges me and pushes me to be better.

I'm still wondering what this life is all about, but I feel better with asking. Instead of asking "why" its more of a thankful to be here attitude. I still have to ask the Good Lord from time to time a few questions, like what I did to deserve the life I have. To be surrounded by people who are just amazing. To be blessed with the most selfless person I've ever come across. To be blessed with someone who has an old soul like me, who just gets me. 

And I'm still content with being Aunt Mel, but I'm content with whatever else may come my way.

It's crazy how many things change. It's just crazy. I'm not your ideal Christian, but for some reason I feel like the man upstairs is handing out blessings, like a hooker handing out STDs.  And I have no idea why it keeps happening, but life sure is great.

It's been a while since my last post, I know, and apparently this is how the grandparents and distant relatives keep up on my adventurous life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6VbT7mZo7o

Stay golden,

MelFlo

Who Am I?

Hey,
Its ya girl Mel.
Ya know big mouth..one with a sailors tongue.
loose cannon,
makes too many jokes, -- esp when they shouldn't be made
smart ass Mel.
laughs too much
But lets not forget,

Mel,
The girl who will give ya the shirt off her back
Someone who would take a bullet for ya not even knowing who you are
Someone who will stay up all day even if she works the next morning, to be with you because you need a friend.
Someone who doesn't know how to not let her emotions get the best of her.
Someone who overthinks every tedious thing.

Ya know me, but I didn't know who I was until a hot minute ago.

A couple years ago I was asked, "Who are you Mel?"
And with my normal reaction, I said "Melanie Mother f(reak)ing Florence."
They said, "No, who are YOU."
Well, I didn't know. I mean I've always been the same Me. But I didn't know who I was. I know who I wanted to be, well rather what I wanted to do with my life. Ya know, the canned answers, go to school, get a degree, get a career, start a family, live happily ever after. Ya know, that whole mumbo jumbo.

So over the course of a few years I've finally found who I am. And I couldn't give a damn about what you think, just kidding I do give a damn, because that's who I am. I am a people pleaser. That's why I'm the center of attention, thats why I'm the person who cracks jokes, that's why I laugh the loudest, thats just why I'm the loudest in general.

I know that I believe in god and all that fun stuff...but I know that when I'm sitting in a pew I don't feel happy. I know that when I went to the temple it was the greatest feeling and place to be...but when I walk into church I feel so awful and bad about life and people surrounding me. I know that I should try harder to not mind what people think, but I want to appease people (keep reading). I know that every SINGLE person has a right and opinion. They have the agency to chose who they are, I know that if you try to tell me that gays don't have the same rights as us heterosexuals youre wrong. I know that some people don't think the same way as I do, that that's okay...as much as I think I'm right, others may be right.

I know that life doesn't begin the moment youre born. Life is so much more and happens much sooner than that. But I know that I am someone who believes that not everything is Black and White. There is so much grey area.. My criminal justice professors hate me because I identify as a republican, but agree with various things on the Liberal side of politics. I AM A Grey Person...

I learned that I love too hard, and hold onto too much. I can't let people go like I say I do. If you wronged me or I wronged you and "cut you off" chances are that I think about whatever you done and whatever I did to have you not part of my life. I just like to hold on. But the obstacles I've gone through, see previous posts, have taught me to build walls.

OH, PS, WALLS WORK.

I say that as a political stab and also as someone who learned that I don't have to let everyone in on my life. I don't need people knowing all about me. I mean certain people don't need to know that I have a scheduled Pre work crap or afternoon pee at 3. am and pm. I mean the whole world doesn't need to know that. They Also don't need to know that at one point in my life I thought toe jam was edible, I mean anything is edible but there are certain things that shouldn't be put in your mouth....ahhh a wise lesson I also learned a few years ago aha

I also, don't learn things the first go around, it takes a few hits or tries for me to be like, "ahh yes, this is a do not situation." I'm a quick learner, yes, but I also want to make sure of things haha.

The point I'm getting at is that I'm a grown ass 26 year old adult..and i was 24 when I discovered who I am. Don't get me wrong, people can change, but their core still stays the same. Just ask anyone I grew up with, I was down right awful, lipping off to any adult, getting suspended, cracking jokes when I wasn't supposed to. I mean I've learned that I need to keep my mouth shut when I'm at work, or presenting or giving a talk at church.... haha

So, bottom line..know who you are.

-Mel Flo

Changes

I couldn't tell you how many times I opened this blog up and tried to write something. I could tell you that I have 6 posts started and are just sitting there as drafts. If you scroll down the last time I wrote was almost a year ago. But so much has happened in a year.

I woke up this morning, feet hit the floor running. That 230 alarm usually goes off and gets about 3 snoozes before I actually get out of bed. But I was out of my house in 20 minutes for work. I showed up to work with my normal RBF, just how it is when you're like me. I went through the motions of work. Dealt with the nonsense that is lazy people or people who know how to push my buttons. When I went on my first break I check emails. THIS RARELY HAPPENS. The first email was from my little brother in Ghana. We chatted back and forth throughout today. I cried, laughed, and got mad.

Hold up, let me explain.

Yeah, I miss the guy. He's a mini me. Just like me, but he's the strongest person I've ever met. To go to a different country for two years of your life to teach something you believe in, that.. that's some serious respect from me. Whatever it is, gospel, charity or whatever, doing what you believe in, that takes some serious guts and stuff. We shared some old stories about growing up, and then he hit me with some reality. "Mel, I'm not gonna lie, life sucks sometimes. Suck. It. Up. It could be so much worse. Look where you are compared to where you and I were both at a year ago."

Yup, I was mad, because *gosh darnit ;)* he was right.

A year ago I was miserable as hell. A year ago, I dreaded the alarm of my phone at 530am. I dreaded driving to a job where I lost more hair than ever imagined. I went through the motions and emotions of my day to day life. I had to beg and plead with people to switch me shifts so I could go play softball on the weekends. I hated going out on dates. I hated meeting new people.

Just life man. That's just the way it was.

Here we are a year later. So damn happy. Yeah, its not perfect. But its better. I still have my 30 second dance parties, either to or from work. I still know how to twerk out on those ball fields. ;) I know the value of a good phone call, mom, dad, grandma, S/O.. There's not many people I let call me but they're usually a nice long chat.

Some things haven't changed though.

I still think I can drive my jeep through any mud hole that comes across my path. I still think that I can get down with the youths. I think that I can still pull all nighters....I can't I'm basically useless without 6 hours of sleep. But for some reason, I still keep pushing my limits. And I keep referring to myself in the third person....oops.

Remember how awful that beginning of last year was? I DO! Broken nose, bronchitis, SET MY DAMN LEG ON FIRE?! Just to name a few... oh how this year has already been a 180 from last. Guys my little brother Zach was right. So much is different from last year. Not to go into detail, but it just feels like that little rain cloud over my head isn't pouring on me these days. Don't get me wrong, I still have crap days here and there. But oh my goodness, there are so many more good days than bad.

I went to write a little post back in October, and again in November. I couldn't bring my fingers to write what I was feeling. Tears filled my eyes, no I didn't cry. Mel Flo doesn't cry. But I was so happy. I smile so much these days and those days. I feel more loved and I feel like there's more love to go around. Well, what I mean by that is, well there's less hatred. It's not noticeable to many people. But, a kid 7000 + miles away notices. He pointed out a "genuine smile" in a few of my pics I send him.

But, to be honest, I never thought this is where I'd be a year later. I never thought I'd be who I am. Well, I still am your friendly "IDGAF" MelFlo, dance at the most random moments, smart ass comment serving, laughing too loud, mouth of a sailor Mel. But I never thought I'd be happy to go to a job. I never thought I'd find someone who would humble the hell out of me. I never thought I'd have and be doing a lot of the things I do in my life.

Guys, I promise to bring back the funny stories. Looking back on my old posts, a good chunk of those were depressing as hell. Some were just some shout outs to the parents and family. But in the beginning there were some funny ones... This is life according to MelFlo, and let me tell ya its funny. Well, I make it fun. Just Give me a week or two and I'll have some new content for y'all. Like me and the BF driving up to "Restricted Area" and 4x4 all over it in the mud..because, screw rules...jk. Or the time he told me not to drive into a mud hole cause "we don't have anything to get us out if we get stuck" so I looked this man into the windows of his soul and said, "I've done this before I know how to get out no worries." and at this point in the story is were the narrator would say, "at this point MelFlo F*cked up"

Damn near pulled my entire bumper off trying to get unstuck. But we laughed, I got pissed, and we both got muddy. But these are the moments I live for.


See its just crazy how things change over the years. One day you wake up you're 6 and praying to the man upstairs that your mom lets you go play with your friends. And the next day you're waking up to go to work at 230 am....oh wait that's just me? oh okay... but you get my point.

This.
Is life according to Mel Flo

You Do You BOO BOO

So, I learned a funny thing tonight. What is "it" you ask, I'm sure glad you asked. Pull up a chair and strap on in, cause this is going to be a great blog.

Driving to one of my games tonight I saw a guy on the La Verikin bridge. He wasn't standing on the right side, nor was he standing. He was dangling. He was being held onto by a FEMALE officer. Yes the one who I have always referred to as the "BAD ASS La Verikin Cop who pulls everyone over." Yeah, that's quite the title I've given her. But let me tell ya, She was holding on to him through the fence with quite the chokehold on the dude. And all of this I watched as passing. What I saw on her face was something I related to. It was fear and determination. As I pulled over to watch the rest of the police officers, sheriff deputies, fire fighters, and ambulances, pull up I could only watch as this Lady was not going to give up.

Finally I figured they were all good, and so I started back on my route. I got thinking about how much people have taken this life for granted. I texted a few friends just to tell them how much I care about them and thank them for the friendship they have extended to me over the years. Little did I know they were going to call everyone and tell them to call and check on me. I got a few calls. I couldn't believe that people would legit think that I would be that kind of person. I mean I hear it quite often, "If I were in Mel's shoes, or have gone through anything she has gone through, I probably would have called it quits." I mean that stings a little, but one lady and I were talking tonight and she shed some light on a thing for me.

She said, "you shouldn't take offense to that. Take pride in it. Take pride knowing that you're stronger than others. Take pride in knowing that you're strong woman and that you don't give up." Well, alrighty then. I didn't really think of it that way. Then I got playing and I couldn't help but be happy about the people who were happy around me tonight. I never say "thanks for being so damn happy" that usually doesn't come out of my mouth. I laughed and thought, "wow, I'm thankful that people are happy around me?" Granted I don't know what anyone else has or is going through, but I sure was happy that they were happy.

So as a people pleaser, I tend to be the fun ball "goof ball" and crack corny jokes, twerk, and whatever else I can throw out there. I tend to find that it is easier to have people laughing and enjoying being around me. But tonight, so many ladies were laughing and having a jolly good time and I was genuinely happy. For many of you y'all know that I don't have a genuine laugh and good time very often. So why is this a learning thing, hold up I'm getting there.

Life, no matter how long, short, or whatever, is something you have to enjoy. Granted Miley was right when she said its a climb. But it's not always a climb. Its more of like a hike. You go up, you go down, through some water, through wind, and whatever else is thrown at you, but you keep going. You keep on keeping on and don't stop. But, you gotta enjoy it. Ya gotta be genuine to who you are. Don't let someone else's opinion of you change you. And that right there folks, is the hardest thing I have ever had to swallow. People are gonna piss you off, they're gonna drag your name through the mud, they're gonna kick you while you're down, and stab you in the back, but no matter how far down you are and no matter how much someone tries to change you, YOU DO YOU BOO BOO!




stay true to who you are

-Mel Flo

The Hills Are Alive

I can't help but think that its time to get a blog post back up. I have been slacking major bad. To my three readers, Mom, grandma, and that weird middle eastern fella that keeps leaving comments that not even google translate can help me on, I apologize for the absense. I have just binge watching south park, working, and playing ball here and there. There's not really an excuse haha.

To catch yall up on the happens of MelFlo:

January, I broke my nose when I was playing basketball. I managed to catch the plague at work, and had to finally use a call in. And I honestly can't remember what else happened but for some reason I just can't remember. Dang, getting old sucks sometimes ;) Feb, well February was a quiet month. I managed to break my tooth playing softball, I froze my chesticles off in a tournament in Mesquite and took 3 in Women's and Co-ed. Then the normal day to day stuff. Little drama here little stress and mental breakdown on the 14th. Ya know the usual.

Now that you're caught up, you can tell that I've been slacking on the long drives every Wednesday, like the good ol days. See let me tell you the significance of the long drive. Long drive was what connected myself and one of the guys I dated. It just became a weekly thing. And I managed to keep that tradition/habit going. I find that being out in the hills not surrounded by people, just so relaxing. To save ya all the details, going to drives out in the hills, is my "happy place."

So, a few weeks ago I drove all the way out to Panaca to just go drive out in the hills. Ok, I also drove out to see and be with family, but since they don't have Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesdays off they had to work. One morning I hopped into the Jeep, loaded Oda'Fin up and took off. We drove around for a few hours. Through snow, mud, and I kinda took a wrong turn and ended up on a cliff. Its OK! I managed to see it before I peed my pants, after realizing just how much of an "Oh Shit" drop it was. I got back in and just kept driving. It's so serene. The music, the views, and empty head-usually filled with thoughts. I am an over thinker. I lie in bed playing out what if situations because honestly, I like to keep thinking about what I would do in certain scenarios... but I also think thats part of my want to protect people I guess. I think everyone should have to take a ride out in the hills with me. No, no, not the mud, rain, or off roading with going straight up hills, or off golf courses.

I guess you would think of it as a sacred place. Just somewhere I know I can go and just let it go or just let it all sit in. I honestly don't know if anyone gets what I am trying to say here. One one of these days, I wish to be able to share it with someone who would love this as much as I do. 

I think, that people need to have a place they can go and let it all go, or just go to not think, I do realize that I gotta just get out and stop letting what people think really get to me.

I'll tell ya what, Its sad that I have to be proud when someone gets mad at me and I have to emphasize just how nice I was, compared to me normally just being a bitch haha. That's when I know its time for a jeep ride.

What I've Learned:

I take some pretty good selfies of my jeep and me.

I have never cried in my happy place

I know that I cannot go straight up the face of a hill with my jeep because I am indeed a chicken.

I now know, that during the summer, I have to check the weather app because when the top is off, it tends to rain when I take my top off ;)

Oda couldn't care less about going for a ride, he only cares when I let him out of put down the seat for him to sleep, but I do love having him there.

I realized that Oda has been there for some crappy times, to some good times. I know hes a just a dog, but when you spend a good chunk of your life alone, and you get a dog, they are the greatest thing.

Being alone is good, but not all the time.

Lastly, I miss my having my best friend and going out on rides with him every week.

It's time to start doing things that I need to do. Go back to being myself and not giving a damn. Going out and going to my Happy Place. I need to dust off that book I started 4 months ago and never finished. I need to also go change my laundry that I restarted in the washer cause it was left in the washer for 12 hours.....

If you came here from Instagram, sweet! If  not, peep my page @itsmelflo its got a few pics that may just explain why this "place" is a happy place. 

*lol every time I wrote "happy place" all I could think of was Happy Gilmore and his "happy place" and then the happy place he goes to when he busts the clown's nose at the mini golf course. 

The Power of a 30 Second Dance Party

Music, its something that speaks when words can't.  I've been fortunate enough to have had my life surrounded by music. From my mother singing me songs, to learning by song in school, church, to being FORCED to learn how to play the piano, hearing songs on the radio, and at one point writing a couple songs.

Music has been an everyday thing for me. When I'm sad, happy, or bored, there's some sort of music going on. I have been blessed with quite the array of music taste. My mother taught me the old time folk songs, classical music, and church songs. My father blessed me with some classic hard rock stuff, which is my favorite. My older brothers love Rap and Rock. Being a "90's baby" I love that crap. And my sisters, well they like pop and country. I mean I've been blessed with being exposed to just about everything. 

My mother started me out at a young age playing the piano. I hated every single day of it, well up until about my sophomore year of high school. Where I was finally released from that prison. But, I still would voluntarily wait for my turn to play the piano every day. It was just something that ended up becoming a stress reliever. Yes, even the piano recitals I had to play in were some of the most calming moments of my life. The only times I dreaded playing, were the times I had to play in sacrament meetings. I developed a weird shaking and my throat gets fuzzy. Ok, its probably just nerves. Whatever it is, one Sunday my page turner witnessed how scary it was for me to not be able to breathe or play with my left hand. She leaned over and hugged me mid song, and it stopped. I HATE HUGS, but that hug definitely saved that musical piece.

When I was in the 6th grade, I picked up a saxaphone, then 3 months later I picked up a french horn and played that the rest of my "band career." I and one other person played the french horn, it was pretty damn awesome. From bus trips to warm up songs for games, I always had a playlist. It usually consisted of 7 or 8 Classic Hard Rocks, 1 Rap, 1 Country, and 2 songs by MoTab or a Classical. Do NOT judge me. Research will back me up on the classical music. It calms one down, as well as opens up the mind. I hated listening to pre game talks. So I would sneak my ipod under my jersey and listen to it. Shhh don't tell my coaches, they really thought I was listening.

This is the one thing that grows with me and that I hope never stops. My love for music. I was playing the piano the other day at work, and a few of the kids were floored that I even knew how to play, let alone bust out some vocals to go along with it. I had a ball. One day I brought in my guitar and sang, not excellent, some songs with them. Its something that I've learned that no matter what mood, situation, or place you're in can always improve your mood. There are days I get over thinking and will just turn on any music.

I grew up in an LDS household that only listened to Church appropriate music on Sunday, and to this day, if its a Sunday its either Sounds of Sunday on the radio, or Hymns coming out my headphones. If its any other day, I tend to listen more to the music without words, weird I know. But I've always noticed something, Music tends to speak when words can't.

I've made a lot of friends from some of my craziness that is associated with music. Wether that is me dancing it out in the gym in between sets, on the bases during a softball game, or just walking around work, my dance parties come from some pretty great music. The other day I was having a pretty shitty day. Not going to sugar coat it at all, was sicker than sick and had a headache, and someone turned on some Prince and I just let loose. Sometimes the best medicine is laughter and a little booty shaking. *it didn't cure my sickness or headache but it was a nice change* The craziest thing I've noticed over the years, my 30 second dance parties, sure put people in better moods as well as myself.

So if y'all ever catch me out there shaking my rump shaker, or belting out some Spice Girls vocals, feel free to jump in or send my recording into AFV. I could use some cash. ;) If you can't tell in the moment its nice to not give a damn and that's the greatest thing about music, you can get lost in it and not care.

Get out shake it a little, bust a move, sing a note or two, kick over a drum set or keyboard or head bang a little in your car, just let loose for 30 seconds a day, you'll thank me later.

XO,
Mel

Faith Without Works Is Dead

"Way out in the land of the setting sun,
Where the wind blows wild and free.
There's a lovely spot, just the only one
That means home sweet home to me.
...
It's the land of a thousand thrills. 
Home, means Nevada,
Home, means the hills,
Home, Means the sage and the pine.
Out by the Truckee's silvery rills,
Out where the sun always shines,
There is the land that I love the best,
Fairer than all I can see.
Right in the heart of the golden west
Home, Means Nevada To Me."

Growing up, I sang this song in elementary school. You know, back to the times where we stood and placed our hands over our hearts. Back to the times where most of our biggest worries were getting home before sunset to get dinner. Back to the times where I didn't have to worry about the evils of the world. Back to the times where I knew it was happening, but didn't really give it much thought. Back where I wouldn't even dream that anything would ever come that close to home or actually hit home. Never would I have every thought, that I would have members of my family being shot at, or present during a bombing. 

Just last year, my home town of Panaca, Nevada population 931, was the sight of a car bombing. You know little podunk town of Panaca. I remember my little brother calling me at work and begging me to stay and talk with him. He was in near tears, telling me how he was outside playing with our dogs when he was nearly knocked down. I don't know if he was in actual tears but there was a distinctness in his voice and I could tell how scared he was. Frantically asking "Where's mom and dad. They went out for a drive and I can't get a hold of them." I told him I'd keep texting them because I didn't want to hang up on him. The phone went quiet, "Mel, there's a body part in the road.... I gotta go." I begged him to stay home and go inside and lock the door. He wanted to see if anyone else was hurt. It was weird, because earlier that year I had the same thing when I saw a horrific accident. I paused, and registered that people are hurt, and ran to the scene. " I gotta go help! I love you and promise to call. I promise." And then the call ended. He never really talks about what happened or what he actually saw but I remember him just saying with a stern voice, "I gotta go help!" 18 years old and all. 

What do you do? Run into the fire, or run away? Are you a hero if you run away? Are you a coward if you don't run? I tend to overthink a lot of things like this. I think that a hero is someone who doesn't think they NEED to be a hero and just does it. I think heroes are those who least suspect that they would end in situations like that and come out alive or not. Heroes are people who go their lives changing others and bettering their lives by bettering other's lives.

Take for example Quinton Robbins, 20 years old, one of the victims of the Route 91 Festival. His aunt posted a heartfelt post describing his life and who he was. Never once did she say he was a hero. However if you read it, you gain a sense that he was: With an incredibly heavy heart. My sweetest nephew has passed away. He was the most kind and loving soul. Everyone who met him, loved him. His contagious laugh and smile. He was truly an amazing person. He will be missed by so many, he is loved by so many. So many awesome talents. I can’t say enough good about this sweet soul. Because of the gospel and plan of salvation I have faith we will be with him again. Quinton Robbins, I, and your entire family will miss you so much everyday. Always will be thinking about you. Please pray for his parents and siblings at this time. Please also respect their privacy as this is a devastating loss that is incredibly painful for the families.

For those who are asking us how you can help. Prayer will be the biggest help. For them and the other victims and families. Here is also gofundme page that was set up by a member of Quints family that can help towards funeral costs.

https://www.gofundme.com/quinton-joe-robbins

I read one of the articles today and it was an interview with one of the victims at the concert. He was describing the shooting and the chaos going on, then pauses, "I sure as hell didn't believe in god but after this I sure as hell DO." He went on to say " I have never prayed to someone I don't know, just to have it all stop. The shots, the cries, the bloodshed. I and many others just wanted it all to stop."

I had a friend who's sister was at the Festival and her mother posted about the call she received. Saying that her daughter was in a panic and just ran until they could find a safe place to hide. My aunt was there as well, and she said she ran until she could find a place and that was 8 blocks and a bush. I couldn't fathom the fear and panic they experienced.

I think The Black Eyed Peas said it best, "Where is the Love?"

Where is it? I'll tell you where it is, its prepared for something like hurricanes that destroys homes and kills people. Its enjoying a concert and hearing shots ring out and you jump into action, whether that be running, taking cover, racing over to people bleeding out, or climbing on top of loved ones or strangers to protect them. It's running into a fire when hearing screams for help. It's sitting on a curb and comforting someone. It's turning to your loved ones and letting them know you love them. It's telling someone they dropped their wallet. Its paying for an expired parking meter. It's picking up a baby and promising that you would do everything in your power to keep them safe.

It's a scary world we live in. Every time we turn around something is happening. What do we do? What can we do? I always tell people to pray, pray for everyone. But we need to do something more. I grew up being told "Faith without Works is dead." WE can pray until we are blue in the face, however we need to do everything we can do to put those prayers into effect.

Well what does that mean Mel? I'm glad you asked, it means that we need to take action. Say, You think that it means we need more Gun Control, go out and do something about it. Talk to your politicians, vote for gun control. It means, if you're a firm believer in your second amendment, go fight for your protection and your right to have that protection! Talk to your politicians, Vote! Whichever it is go and do something about it.

It means that instead of sitting at home and changing your profile picture to what ever filter Facebook came up with, go out there and donate blood, your time, your knowledge. Open your home to those stranded, go down to a hospital and sit with people waiting for their loved ones to show up. VOLUNTEER! Whatever it is, just go do something. I can't emphasize this enough.

I know that many lives have been lost and many more will, because this world is just that evil. I do my best to rarely post religious views, but I think people should give the Book of Revelations a good read.(That's all for religion.)

There's too much hatred. Do something that drives you to be a better person, or to better someone else. Whatever it is, go do something! Stop sitting on your couch and being a keyboard warrior. Discuss the events, take it to your politicians, your parents, friends, roommates, take some action how to keep safe what you would do! Anything. Granted you can never prepare for a someone opening fire on a crowd of 22k people or someone blowing up their car, or flying a plane into a building..You can't prepare for those situations, however you can discuss what you could do or how you could help. 

Go change your life, or the life of someone else. Better this world for yourself and others.

Don't Cry, Prove Them Wrong

I ever tell ya about that time my dad changed my life?
No? Okay.
Buckle on in yall. its story time!

Flashback to the late 90's, yeah it was a popping time. It was around the time that I realized how much I loved boy bands, and well, music in general. I used to listen to BSB and *NSYNC and 98* and everyone in there. Oh and not to forget my girls Christina and Britney. I had all of their posters as well as every painting I made at school, hung up on my walls. It was the time to be alive yall.

I'm not sure how old I was, but I was old enough to start "dance." Oh sweet baked potato, I hated dance. I wasn't the cutest, I wasn't the tiniest, nor was I the best dancer. All this made for quite the fun experience. I learned at quite a young age that my looks weren't my best friend, and my attitude didn't make me friends either. My sarcasm, was advanced for my age. One day, we went to try on these awful dance uniforms, and well mine didn't fit, surprise. It sucked because it had to be ordered, because my dance teachers "figured they could just go to a youth medium and not bigger." Wait, before you jump me, I was a chunky girl, however, I have always been capable of doing a standing Toe touch as well as a pretty awesome round-off. So, back to the story, when I heard those adults tell me that. I sucked up those tears and told myself that I'm not going to cry. Later after we got done dancing, I was out putting on my shoes and this girl decided it was a good time to poke fun at me for being "fat." Want to know what I did, I kicked her in the face and I'm not sure if I broke her nose, but she got blood on my socks. I ran all the way home. Yeah, that freaking sucked. Not only did the adults say that, but it was apparent that everyone else heard. It sucked A LOT. I told my dad that I don't want to go back and do that, its not fun. I don't like the girls nor do I like that I have to wait until competition to get my uniform.

That was when my dad did the coolest thing, he went to True Value and bought me my first baseball glove and took me out to the side of our house and in the street light played catch with me. That was also when he told me something that I will never forget, "you're going to finish it out because no one in this family is a quitter." I know there are people who have heard me say that before either about myself or my family member, "We're Florence's we DON'T quit." I will never forget that day. I we stayed outside until my mother came out to tell us to go to bed. My dad signed me up for "Farmer's league" aka the league where you hit off the pitching machine. He also, took a team of kids who weren't the most wanted and we kicked ass. Plain and simple. Ok, we won several games and what not, but our team name was The Bears. That should explain it. I freaking loved that!

And Not to forget that my mom spent a few nights, when my dad couldn't come, being my COACH as well as giving me hitting practice in the back yard. Little did they know, their backyard wasn't big enough. ;) My mom was such an awesome "fill in" even if she benched me for talking back.

That's summer I learned how much I loved baseball, also where I learned that I was better than most boys. It's also when I learned that my dad may be quiet around a lot of people, but he sure was smart as hell.

Fast Forward a few years

I am in third grade, I just moved to a new STATE and well, I made myself pretty known around the town. I was the ultimate tom boy. I played football that fall, played basketball that winter-with girls, then went on to play baseball that spring with the boys. Here's where it woke me up. I was a damn good ball player. My dad and I threw the ball every Sunday after church. Whether that was a football or a baseball it just depended on the season. See, my father he worked in Utah 5-6 days a week and would get home Saturday and would leave Sunday nights. It sucked because he missed a lot of my games but I learned a lot from those couple of hours he spent with me. I was told that I should play softball, but I tried that in second grade and hated it. I hated playing with girls. So I played the Minor League and had a freaking blast.

The next year My dad signed me up for Little League and said that I was good enough to try out for the Major League team. Well I was one of maybe 3 people who could throw from home plate into a trashcan at second base. I was one of few who could throw the ball all the way home from the outfield. And I was one who took some hard hits at short and third base and still could make a play. And I could hit the ball like a freaking boss. That next day, I was cut. I was the only girl that tried out. I was cut because I was a girl and needed to play softball. I went home from school and called my dad to tell him the news. I was DEVASTATED! I tried. I tried so freaking hard, and KNEW I was better than all but the 6th graders. So I played Minors one more time, and vowed that I would make majors. I worked out all summer, and my dad and I "trained" so hard. I made Majors that next year, but I made Softball Majors. And that started my love for softball.

I couldn't have accomplished a lot of those accolades I got from playing YEARS of softball if it wasn't for my dad teaching me all those years back. I couldn't thank my mother for going to some of my best games. Sports has been such a big part of my life, not because my parents "forced" me into them, but because I wanted to play. I began playing "travel" ball when I was 12, and then went on to playing High School Varsity my freshman year, to my Junior year where I began playing year round. I played as much as I could handle with, juggling camps, school, and yes even college courses. I thank my mother for constantly pushing me, and my dad, for believing in me when no one else did.

My first home run in high school, was hit on my Mother's birthday March 23rd it was HUUUUGE deal. And my last home run hit in high school, was on my dad's birthday, May 6th the one that tied me for the state record for most home runs in a season, 12. The girl who had finally hit 13 went on to play softball for UNLV that next year. My parents had 6 other kids who were deeply involved in sports too, so for getting me to ALL my games in Utah and Nevada it was a miracle in itself. For paying for all my camps, and hotel rooms and food, Uniforms, new cleats every year, and two softball gloves-that I still have- I could never thank them enough.

I blew out my shoulder one tournament into my senior year, and spent the remainder of the year at first base. I still had scholarships to play in Minnesota but declined to go because I learned that family trumps softball and basketball ALWAYS. When I settled for going to SUU my dad called me and told, a very distraught Mel-Flo, that things don't always work out they way you think they need to, but they do work out in the end. GET YOU A DAD LIKE MINE! I still play, and I still hit "dingers" over those fences waaaay out there. I also take a ball to the shin at third like a boss, and can still throw it to first for an out.

Whats my point? I'm glad you asked.

My point is, if you're going to kick someone in the face, make sure you break their nose. Just kidding.. or am I? My second point is, don't ever give up. Don't quit. Don't let "yo haters" win. And lastly, things work out in the end, even if its not how you thought it should have.

And there's that awful outfit.

And the two little sisters that pushed me in every sport

 I played to be better than me.

First year of "Major Softball"


All-Stars


Yes, that's a wrestling singlet, and I DID
Wrestle a few years, and I pinned several boys.

Thanks Dad

-MelFlo

Its a Surprise!

If you already didn't know, I like to surprise people. Whether that be with gifts, service, or doing something that someone didn't know or think I could. My personal favorite thing is showing people that I have a crazy side. No drugs or alcohol involved. Shocking I know. Buckle in and I'll take you on a short story you're gonna be begging to get out of the car.

So I have this persona that radiates Bitch...or for the more kindhearted folk, people see me as intimidating, and it's something that I've built up for myself over the years. I like people to know when they first meet me that I am not one to be messed with. Also I like people to look at me and think "if I were to be in a fight, I'd want MelFlo on my team" Yeah, don't question me. But here's where it gets good, I like to hide my extrovert side.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, I AM PART EXTROVERT. Don't get me wrong, I really love being by myself a good chunk of the time, but I love going out and doing things. Getting out and seeing and doing things out of my comfort zone. For hell's sake, I love being scared. That is definitely not anything an introvert would ever say, but it is something an extrovert would.

Alright, here comes the story.
When I first started working at Maverik, I worked weekend nights. It was great, the chick that came in the morning ended up being one of the people who encouraged my shenanigans. When I applied for the Job, I had my future boss Rolling around. It was evident that I had a bubbly personality. HA! Alright, hold up, I didn't walk in the room and start cracking jokes or anything like that. She just asked if I ever did drugs and I replied, "No, but I'm a full time student applying for a full time job and I may need some." That had her rolling....Someday's I miss that Lady. Anyways, I got hired on 2 hours later.
So weekends were spent listening to music and having a grand ol time. Not many people came in through the night. But I was always busy doing cleaning and stocking. And when you spend enough time by yourself you're gonna bust out some vocals and dance moves. So when coworkers showed up at 6 it was the best thing in the whole world. Usually by then I was two energy drinks in and buzzing off the wall. Charity, my crazy coconut, one day came around into the cooler to help me stock and BAM saw me drop it real low. It's like a twerk but you drop your booty as far as you can. Which to people's surprise for me, its inches away from the ground."GET IT GIRL" was at hollered at least 5x a day.
To most girls, when we hear that, it just fires us right up. And with the right attitude and music, it could go one of two ways; someone getting fired up and saying "oh ok that's enough" or in my case, it fires me up just enough to twerk on something or fall to the ground after pulling something. That happened on more occasions than I had wished it did. One day, Coconut came back where the boxes of fountain syrup were hooked up to the CO2 machine and because I was being an idiot, I was moon-walking and knocked off a hose and it was going everywhere....mostly everywhere on my clothes. When asked "what happened?!" I simply explained that I turned around in time to see it "pop" off.

About a year and half later, I moved on from Mav and got a treatment job with some teens. I set my boundaries with no hugging and definitely establishing where I stood with my bubble. But one day, one of the kids had a Christina Agulera song come across their stereo. And I couldn't help it. 8 year old MelFlo came out and she couldn't be stopped. That little dance and wall twerk and hair flip, got me quite the amount of compliments and giggles. It was funny to see the faces of some of those people. To get crazy and just let loose.

I guess the thing with me, it just takes a good ol attitude and song to have me go from "intimidating" MelFlo to Crazy Twerking MelFlo. Its roughly .02 seconds. I learned that you gotta enjoy your job. It's not up to your boss or coworkers, it lies on your shoulders. You can have a crappy shift or you can go home with a smile on your face. I mean, ok you don't have to love your job....but it has to be enjoyable. And sometimes I like making other's days. I apparently dance so terrible its funny. Whatever gets the people going.

Hit my up on the Instagram and check out the videos, I get a good laugh every now and then. But it kinda shows me when I'm carefree. Now that is a rare feat. So its nice to see that for that one song or moment even tight ass MelFlo can let loose. God bless the poor man who marries me. He better not get embarassed, because I hear that my twerk can bring a tear to the eye...whether that be because it was that good, or because you're going blind probably the last one.

Its a surprise to people because you don't know if you're gonna get twerking MelFlo or HeadBanging throwing the HORNS MelFlo..It's a gift and a curse...but I'll take it either way.


Just Let Loose From Time To Time

This was the night the Syrup machine just "popped" off and squirted everywhere. So this is a legitimate story. Some days I miss the Mav Days, then I get a headache and get recall what most days were like when I wasn't out dancing.


XO,
MelFlo

It's Not Right, But It Happens All The Time

I've opened this blog once a week since my last post and have had the hardest time trying to type how I feel. But each time I've pulled out my laptop with something on my mind I know exactly what I'm going to say and how I'm going to write it, but as soon as it comes to me typing it all out it just doesn't work. I can't get my words to flow as if I was talking to my best friend, or even just a friend.
So I'm going to try something, so stay with me ok?

I have this problem.

I can't stand the judgement that is given out on any day of the week, particularly on Sunday. I can't stand when I see GOOD people be torn down for something they did months or years ago. I can't stand that first impressions are already over before two people actually meet.

The bigger issue:
I see it happen every day. I go to church, and people I haven't even met yet already know that I choose not to go to church and instead sleep and go to work. People already know so much about me. And this isn't just with me I see the whispers as someone gets up to bear their testimony and maybe their dress isn't pretty, or their hair a mess. I see this when someone demonstarates their talents and maybe messes up do to nerves, and people chuckle and make fun. I CANT STAND IT!

I will forever live the beliefs and standards of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and the covenants I've made. But it makes it difficult to go and sit in church week in and week out to be with people who don't. We accept people who aren't perfect and struggle. But instead of people being welcoming to those visitors, we poke and make fun. What a better way to make someone feel welcome than to sit behind that person and whisper.

It doesn't just happen at church, it happens outside. I see people all the time pissed off that LGBTQ people have a march or are getting married or even kissing. Like, did you not remember where we were counceled to LOVE EVERYONE?? That means even people we don't share ideals or beliefs with. We're not supposed to go out and protest gay marriage even though we believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. We shouldn't be disgusted that someone has feelings for someone of the same gender. We should be welcoming and letting them know that it must be hard and loving them for who they are! But that's not what happens.

I had a gentleman who opened up to me and another person who was supposed to be his best friend, but instead, she shamed him. I have never been more disgusted with her than any other person. Do you know how hard it was for that gentleman to come out and say those words out loud? But that girl instead stopped hanging out with us, and slowly cut ties with him. She claimed she was LDS but I hate to say it, that's not what the LDS doctrine is about. We are taught that we are to love everyone. We are taught that no matter sexual orentation, color, political offiation, or what ever you put on your toast in the morning, you are loved.

I just can't get over it. You have these people who party every Saturday night and show up on Sunday to bless the sacrament, and your relief society pres, well she had her tongue down some dude off Tinder's throat. *YSA Ward* I just don't get it. I do I really, do think that things can be forgotten and looked past, but these are the same people who see the people from the shelter sitting on the back pews at church and they whisper about them. These goodie goodie girls that all walk in together and sit next to each other who criticize the pianist for missing a note won't ever get up there and play...



Its just so damn hard being a single twenty-something and having to go to a singles ward and push through. I see and hear all of this and pass judgement myself. I think, those girls making fun of the pianist, they're just cowards who don't have the coconuts to get up and play each Sunday, or are talent less and are jealous. I see those homeless people from the shelter come in too and sit on the back row. I ponder if they're good people or just people looking for a piece of bread and a drink of water, or just people looking for a cool place to hang. I do it too, and no I'm not perfect.

I just don't get it, Why are we the way we are?

Legacy

Here's the weird thing about time, there's never enough of it. You spend you life wishing you did more, wishing there was more, hoping that what you did with your time was enough. But you'll never really know. The days seem short, nights shorter-if you don't work night shift- you find yourself figuring out a schedule to where you plan out every minute of every hour then realizing there's just not enough.

You figure that you're going to grow old and live until you're 100 or so, you don't really ever plan your death. You don't sit down with a pen and calendar it out the day and place you're going to go, so that you can fit in as much stuff in between now and then as you possibly can. Its crazy to think that at any given moment it could all end. I used to think that there was a hour glass, or a life glass, that before you came down to earth you took as much sand as you could fit into that glass and that was how long your life was going to be, so when it ran out it was over. I was ok with the fact that I had pretty big hands and probably over filled it. But it never really hit me that not all of our "life glasses" are the same size. Shoot, you could be the happiest, healthiest, and smartest person and still only get to 33.

Time, where can I purchase more? I would like to walk into a store, well I'd prefer a drive-thru, and buy some more time for an assignment that I neglected to finish because I was at work, or I was trying to get a full 6 hours of sleep, or some other excuse that permitted me from completing. Maybe I could purchase an access code to allow me all the answers for why I never seem to finish things on time, or for why I race through other things.

Its just a word I guess. I wish I had more time to do this, or that. I wish the days were longer, I wish I spent more time with loved ones, you know? Its only a word, but what you do with it, that makes it valuable.

My grandma has this quote in her living room, its also from HITCH if ya remember, "Life's not measured by how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away." There are so many things you can do in a day. Yeah you have to get enough sleep, go to work, school, eat three meals, exercise, and all in between... and sometimes you have to sacrifice some of these things for something else. Sometimes it sucks, but its the price we pay for LIVING. You have to sacrifice some sleep do drive to exciting places to adventure. Sure, you sacrifice a lot of sleep for various things. The hardest thing, is having to know when someone or something is not worth your time. That has to be the hardest. To cut them out knowing that in the end its just wasteful. Maybe the most wasteful is the amount of time it takes to realize that. It just happens.

Regardless of the amount of time we think we have, we need to use it. Don't waste it away sitting at home on social media or binge watching Netflix. Don't waste it. Do something to remember, whether that is in your eyes or the eyes of someone else. I long to be remembered by others as someone who never gave up. and definitely as someone who was funny and caring. But that's me, I like people to like me. What you want to be remembered for can be totally different, or maybe you don't want to be remembered, but want to have a killer time doing things people didn't think you could do.



Ya know what, there's this poem I think I read it in high school, but it sums up what I'm trying to say perfectly.

The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before. 

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

Well, I mean that's it. How do you want to LIVE your dash? 

Do you want to be remembered?

Do you want to slip away in the cracks?

I'll tell ya what, the thing I want to be remembered for? Using what time I had here, on not giving up. On whatever it may be. I mean, I don't want to be known as a quitter. 

XO,

MelFlo

**This post took me too long to finish. It sat in my drafts for some time. I couldn't seem to put my words on the page how I wanted them. And a couple of things came up that pushed me to put them out there. Sorry if ya get lost a little bit.**

We All Got A Lot To Learn

I’ve learned a good chunk of things by watching others. People watching is my favorite thing. It’s kind of like a hobby. No, I don’t go pull up a chair at the park and watch or sit on the bench at Walmart. I just like to notice others and my surroundings when out and about.


I’ve learned that the best burger is one that hasn’t been pressed.
I’ve learned that the way parents look at their babies or toddlers really shows how much they love them. I.e when they look them in the eyes, hold their hands, or smile.
I’ve learned that the people closest to you hold the biggest secrets.
I’ve learned that a four way stop people lose IQ points and alpha personalities, well they really take charge—even when it’s not their turn.
I’ve learned that the biggest people aren’t always the slowest.

From a young age I wanted to be a detective. And for years I kinda switched gears and wanted to be a teacher—until I didn’t want to deal with children’s parents. Then I got back on track to be a cop. Well, I had always known that being self aware and aware of my surroundings was my best trait. It came in handy for sports. I could see the basketball court so well. I could pick the open spots, flash, drive the lane, read the rebound. In softball I could read the field as well. I could pick other coaches signs. I could read when the runners were stealing* I was a catcher* and when hitting I could/can read when the outfielders came in or sat on the fence. It is just one of my better skills. So it’s come natural to me.

Growing up I also learned a lot from watching my parents.  Two of the most selfless people I know. I watched when my mom was in a rough patch with us kids being out of a job, have to tell us “no” to candy or Lunchables because she couldn’t afford it. Guys, I don’t think you know my mom. She never says “no.” She goes about saying it other ways but, “no” isn’t her favorite word, it’s second to “hate.” I’ll explain in a minute.

 See my mother, busted her ass along with my dad to provide a great life for us 7 kids. We always had shoes, clothes, a roof over our heads, and occasionally a great meal-if my ma wasn’t cooking. Lol. That adds up. My parents gave us such a great life. 5 of us now have scuba licenses, 3 went on 2 year missions-funded by my parents and a couple others- 5 of us went to college-3 graduated so far. All of us kids were on some sort of travel sports team. Yeah we’re all pretty good.

They taught us that to give means more than to hand money or physical items. It meant that not everything you do for someone needs to be recognized. My parents taught me two of the biggest lessons: 1, Compassion and service are the two greatest things a person can have..and with faith being the greatest. 2, never give up.

My dad taught me that you can have some of the darkest times and be at the lowest in your life and still be a light. My dad taught me that shit happens and sometimes it ends up on your doorstep in a bag on fire. Don’t step on it go around. My mom taught me that you can’t ever hate your family. You can dislike them but you have to love them. Haha.

My parents never really sat us kids down, or me for that fact, and gave us lessons on this stuff. We just watched as it all unfurled. I watched as two of the strongest people went through the worst of times, got new starts, and back again, to now offering us kids money when we visit...or to fill up our gas guzzling vehicles. They never gave up. And they are STILL making sure we have the best life.

I learned the hardest lessons on my own. I learned that in the darkest of times you do think that thought. You know what I’m talking about. If not, you haven’t been there and lucky you. I learned that sometimes the closest people to you, they hurt you the most. I learned that being big bad ass Mel Flo comes along with people not thinking I have a heart. You’re either tender-hearted or stone cold tough ass. And somehow I feel I need to be in the middle haha.

I’ve learned that I’m the person who would give my life, not just for my family, but for a stranger. It’s just who I am. I do not enjoy others being sad or hurt. I’ve learned that the most heartless people will hurt the people closest to you.

The loneliest people... well they tend to be the kindest.
The saddest people... they smile the brightest.
And the most damaged people.. they are the wisest.

I’ve seen people be dirt poor and give their last dollar to someone who was hungry. I’ve witnessed people scraping by paycheck to paycheck spend a few extra bucks for the dude sitting by the freeway with a sign. I’ve witnessed my grandfather take in a man who was train hopping and got washed up in a storm. He gave that man a place to live. He gave him clothes and food for nearly a month until he earned enough for a greyhound ticket to Cali. That was the greatest summer I got to have. And my grandfather, he was a great man.

I’m only 24, working on 25 here. Pretty sure I’ve had about 13 mid life crisis in the last 3 years. And I’ve learned that ya gotta keep going. Ya gotta keep trucking along. I had a close friend kill himself, I was one of the firsts to a car crash where I walked to the drivers side of a truck to see a man with his face halfway peeled off. And he was cracking jokes. I’ve watched someone try to jump off a building. And many others. But I’ve also held my nephew in my arms the night he was born and realized how great life is. I’ve driven a new Jeep off the lot with my name on the title with a big ass smile on my face. I’ve laughed until I’ve cried and cried until I laughed. I’ve broken bones and gotten stitches. I’ve gone to school and I’ve played hooky. Through all of this I’ve learned. I've learned who I am and why I’m here. I’ve learned that in the quietest of moments we learn the most.

Get out and learn from experience. Sit back and watch. Either way do something.

Xo,
MelFlo

Dreams So Real

Ya ever have a dream just so damn realistic? I have them all the time. But by the end of the day most of them have been forgotten. The ones I do remember kinda leave me shook up. Ok, you're either thinking, wow, Mel is very random or this is something deep. Its a little bit of both. I woke up late one afternoon and was in a dead sweat. No, it wasn't because the air conditioner was turned off, or that I was buried under 2 blankets, or the fact that it was 98* outside. It was because I had a dream that my best friend had been shot.

That's right. I have terrible dreams, and usually I let those people know when things like that happen, I honestly don't know why. *pause*
I mean, we all have had a dream somewhere along the line and it actually happens in real life and we're all shook up about it. De je vu anyone? Yea, I would be more scared if this didn't happen to me as much as it really does.
\
Anyways, I and The Bestie- Blair- Are out driving around as we usually do on Monday nights. But we were older, in our late 30's. We went out for our ice cream and weekly catch up, and suddenly we get into an accident. The car speeds towards us, through a red light, and smashes into my Jeep. That's right the Jeep has survived that long. It immediately knocks Blair and I around. We get out of the jeep to asses the damage as well as the other driver. Blair is a doctor, and I a police officer. And as soon as Blair steps out of the Jeep he is impaled with several bullets. I reach into my jeep to grab the pistol located under my steering wheel.

I fire several shots into the shooter. I manage to kill the shooter. I run to Blair who had pulled himself under the jeep. I call 911 and am informed that there is a ambulance on its way. He was hit in the thigh, I took off my belt and used it as a tourniquet. It slowed the bleeding. I felt like everywhere I turned there was another bullet hole. There was one through his shoulder. I sat there holding him and putting as much pressure that I could find on the two holes.

I held Blair praying that the ambo shows up quicker. It felt like hours that we sat there. Naturally I crack jokes. It kept Blair with me. I told him it would have been better if he just bent over and took a few to the buttocks. He agreed, and said he probably would be in less pain. I looked at his face and just knew that things weren't going to work out the way I was praying for.

The ambulance showed up and we drove to the hospital. He was immediately rushed into surgery. After a few hours, and several calls to families later, I was greeted by a surgeon. He extended his hand and offered his condolonces. My eyes filled with tears, but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. The surgeon sat me down on the chairs and placed his hands on mine. Asked if there was anyone he could talk to or help me out. I told him that family was on their way. I said, "I don't even know how to tell someone that, their beloved friend, brother, father, and husband, was dead. Got any suggestions?"
I flashed forward what appeared to be an hour or so, and I saw myself-from third person- outside puking. Typical MelFlo move. So that made it feel more real to me. I puke about an hour after incidents like that. Remember that accident I rolled up on and the dude had half his face rolled off? Puked exactly an hour later. When I got the bad news about the Ex, about 2 hours later, I was in the bathroom puking. The things I've witnessed at work, have me puking after too. Haha, it happens in situations like that. I remember wiping my mouth and answering a call from my husband.

He said that he and our three kids were on their way to the hospital from the jeep crash. I joked around and asked how seriously my beloved child was injured. My husband informed me that, "The Cuteness, she's not going to make it." And without a beat, "well tonight is really working out in my favor isn't it?!" I sat on the curb and watched as My husband pulled up jumped out and hugged me. And then the water works happened. Tears wouldn't stop! I have never been so embarrassed about not being able to stop crying. Hey, at least I know that my husband isn't always a d bag in my dreams lol.

Anyways, the funeral came around and I was asked to share the life story. And all I knew about Blair, is the times we shared intimate details about our lives. I announced that I didn't know that his favorite color was olive green. I didn't know that he had a secret hobby for gardening. I didn't know that he and I liked the same book "To Kill A Mocking Bird." I did know that his favorite subject was Math because Blair saved my ass several times in Stats. IT hit me that I didn't know my best friend. I gave a few stories about how I ran a stop light and we all nearly died. I shared that the secret to us being best friends for so long was the power of Ice Cream. I told the congregation that we were each other's longest relationship. I told them, that the only reason we were so close was because no one else could stand us. It was the shortest thing I talked about. But I felt so empty.

I woke up feeling empty. I woke up feeling like I got hit by a car. I hate feeling like that. I immediately texted Blair and told him the terrible news and said we were going to play Questions the rest of the night because its f'ed up that I don't even know what his favorite color was. It did make me feel a little better knowing that our strong relationship will prevail haha. It was funny because our ice cream runs made it almost 20 years. And somehow, we managed to end up in our careers, and in the same town. Funny how things work out like that.

But I rolled out of bed and hit the floor and prayed that I only ever stay a dream. And as soon as I stood up, the amount of relief that came upon me was so warming. I mean, I don't know how I could live without The MF Cuteness.... oh yea and Blair. Guess he's gonna have to wear a bulletproof vest when he's with me.

This Is Life According To MelFlo

I had a few thoughts over the week, hold on for a second these are good wholesome thoughts. Though most of this week's thoughts included:
 "What did I eat that was green?"
"Why do I feel like I've sat my fat ass on the sun's surface?"
"How many times can I Web-MD my symptoms and not be convinced that I'm OK?"
Oh and my personal favorite, "When should I stop trusting my gas?"

Though I have had a WEEK long of what seems like the flu, and thought that my body was shutting down, I got to thinking about a few things. Like why I even started this blog. Woah, I know, deep Mel, deep. There's maybe one or two people who read this blog, yeah I look at the statistics. It say that my blog gets visited at least 10 times, and I know 8 of those times are because someone accidentally clicked on it. Anyways, I didn't start it because I wanted to have everyone and their damn dog read it. Shoot, I wish less people did, because those who have read it are offended by something I wrote. It's humoring to me to hear some of the comments.

"Can you write using less vulgarity or without being too blunt?"
"Why do you even think that those stories you write are funny? I didn't laugh."
"Why do you blast your ex's? That's inappropriate, and rude."

Well if I did write without the vulgarity and not being blunt and upfront, I wouldn't be writing like a true writer. As a writer you want the reader to be able to either put themselves in your shoes, or feel like they are present in the story. And anyone who knows me, knows I like to swear and feel that being blunt and upfront about things is one of my best traits/curses.
I think several things I go through ON THE DAILY are pretty funny. And I think that when I share them with people personally and they laugh that maybe they are worth sharing with the two people that read this blog. *calm down I know there's more, I hope.... For all I know its my mother continuously clicking on my Blog Link every day ;) *
And the thing with my ex's, it was fun. That's it. I learned and I grew. I have these experiences I want to share. I hate writing in journals so I figure sometimes I can treat this blog like a little diary.... Kind of like Brigdet Jones-yes I watch movies like that, they're sort of my guilty pleasure. And any time I write about the Ex's, they only know if they read this, and to be honest, they have better things to do. I mean Everyone that I've dated or been in a relationship with... well, they're ALL married.

I write things on this blog because I damn well feel like it. I feel like a good way to keep myself away at work is to write. I usually spend it writing my story. I post every now and again on it. I do so because, my weakness writing is in fiction. I have a very hard time with writing fiction. Clearly writing nonfiction is easy, shoot look at those previous posts. The best way to get better at something is to continue to practice. Hmm, maybe one day I'll write a book. I would like to do a ballad of how being 20-something isn't what it's all cracked up to be. But I also wanted to test the waters with my other fiction story. Who knows, maybe you're reading the writings of MelFlo before I made it big. ;)
AHAHAHAHAH yeah ok I couldn't even type that with a straight face.

Any who, I write on here because I feel like it damn-it. If you don't like it, leave or stay, my stats are low. And if you're here for the long haul, just remember that sometimes I get side tracked, or go on and on about something when I should have stopped. So Here It Is.

I DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS I SAY OR DO
*unless it was completely accidental*
*yeah, people don't like me, and I don't give a damn.*

Simply, if you say or do something you did it for a reason, subconsciously or not. If you were mad, good! Let it out, express yourself. If you were sad, good! Let it out, and express yourself damnit. I tell the kids at work all the time, don't apologize for things you say or do unless you knew it was wrong before you said or did it. I mean, I get called an array of things every day. It just rolls off my shoulders, but they turn around and apologize later for it. I tell them if they felt like I was being a "bitch" its probably because according to them I did something that falls into "their" category for that.
Everyone is entitled to their judgement and opinions. And as much as it irks me, yes, everyone is allowed to be offended. I do not get mad if people are feeling things and express themselves, because that's how I roll. Be upfront, let people know something pissed you off. It comes off as rude, but its better than keeping it in and boiling over. Do things that make you happy. Stay away from people that piss you off. And by all means, don't give a damn about other's opinions of you.

So this is it. This is my blog. MY blog. I write things here and sometimes share them because I feel like they need to be shared. Sometimes I show y'all just how dark I can get. And sometimes I show you just how funny things are. And there are days like today, that I hop on my soap box and rant for a little.
This is my blog. I write things that I feel can be relative to others. I post things that maybe come straight out of right field, but have your head nodding up and down. Know that this isn't a normal ballad of one night stands as some people think the 20-something years are spent. This isn't the ballad of hey, look I went to school and am now knee deep in my career. And this sure isn't a ballad of Hey y'all, read about my adorable family and *BLEH*
This is the beaten dirt path that people sometimes have to take because the paved one is crowded.
This is the hard working woman, who wants to have that career and perfect family, but is a little behind. This is all those things that you don't read or hear about your 20's.

*taps mic*

This is MelFlo and I'm coming at ya in the wee hours of the morning from my laptop that needs to be upgraded. Strap in because this is going to be one hell of a ride and you might like it.
And this is Life According To Me.

One Hell of a Hot Mess

I like to whine a lot about being single, but I honestly don't know what I would do if I got back into a serious relationship. I was just thinking about this last night, along with a few other things. My window was wide open. I'm under my 1 throw blanket, quilt, and comforter, and my head is under my 6 pillows. For some reason I gotta have the room feeling like Antarctica so that I can be warm? I wish I could explain it.

I am a walking contradiction. When I share my bed, when I was in high school or sleepovers, I like to make sure the other person stays on their side and not take the blankets. But when I by myself there are nights where I wake up and wonder how in the hell I manage to even sleep like that. Once I had my arms pinned between the bed and the wall. Another time I awoke to my foot in a laundry basket at the head of my bed. NO ALCOHOL WAS INVOLVED I swear! And the half of the time I wake up on the floor either half under my bed or half in the shower, there is no explanation to this yet.

I would like to think that if I was living with someone my house would always be clean and I would want to always keep it clean, rather than having to dig through a pile of clothes to find a sock that matches the one I found in my jeep to wear. Or being able to walk aimlessly through the night and not worry that I'd break a foot or toe or limb on something lying on the floor somewhere. I would like to think that if I had a boyfriend or husband I wouldn't have expired food, or that I would have actual groceries in my fridge instead of take-out boxes. I would like to think that if I had a spouse that maybe I wouldn't be on my 4th time through Grey's Anatomy or my 9th time of SVU on the Netflix. Maybe caught up with current events, those that are not on E! Network channel.

But here's the cool thing. I don't have my shit together and probably wont. I don't have a spouse or BF living with me. And to be very honest, I'm not looking..well that hard ;) And ya know what, I am ok with where I am. I am ok that I don't have to always have things in order. I am ok with the fact that I occasionally have had to smell my socks to make sure I could wear them to the gym. I am ok with the fact that I cry by myself watching Netflix into a bowl of ice cream. Ok, you caught me, I don't use a bowl when it comes to a half gallon of Ice Cream, it stays in the container.. I am definitely ok with the way I'm doing things right now. 

And, God Bless Any Man That Decides To Marry My Hot Mess.

The Introversion

Ok, if you didn't already learn from this blog, I am an introvert. I love being by myself, I love to not talk and just think, and well I love the quiet. Alright, stop laughing. I'm serious. Don't get me wrong, I love being bubbly and obnoxiously loud MelFlo, but I do have a quiet side. I do have a side of me that isn't always cracking jokes or breaking necks.

There aren't many people who get to see this side of me. Well, maybe there are and they just think that I sleep all the time, which needs to stop because I don't sleep as much as y'all think that I do. Sleep would be nice. But I do enjoy those nights where I lie in bed and just let my mind wander. Oh my hell, I so wish that I could put a leash on it sometimes. Let me elaborate for a second. I can hop into bed and think about whether I shaved both of my legs or just one. Then I'll think about a deep fried PB&J but in Oreo form. I'll think about "what if" situations- these aren't normal 'what if's' they're what if I got on TV what would I do? What would I do if I jumped my jeep into a lake and had to fish it out. And what if I jumped into that lake buck naked, its not skinny dipping cause I'm not skinny....would it be chunky dunking? Then I'll sit there and think about why I'm single. Then I remember its because I probably only shave one leg and wanna go chunky dunking.

As you can see I have a love for writing. I was gonna write a book, but figured a blog was good enough. I don't aspire to much. That's fine for me. I'm comfortable with myself and what I'm doing. Don't worry mom, I'll get my shit together one of these days and actually get into my career. I was told that I should write a book by a couple of people, mostly because I was funny. I mean, come on I just say funny things, and occasionally something unfortunate happens to me that makes others laugh. Occasional isn't the accuate measurement, more like every other day or daily if it's just that kind of week. I can't help but laugh. I mean what's it worth getting upset? Nothing.

I love a nice long workout. I hate when people ask to go to the gym with me. I LOATHE it. When I whip up into the gym parking lot my eyes usually roll so damn hard they fall out of my head. Which is a surprise that it hasn't happened yet. But it may explain why I get migranes and headaches so damn often.

But, I will admit, I can be an extrovert when I choose. I love the occasional get together. But for a limited time, maybe more like seasonal, hmm not sure. My "get together" liking is sort of like the McRib. You don't ever know when it is coming back, but when it does you're estatic and unaware that its limited time, and BAM you're sad cause its gone. *The McRib isn't as terrible as y'all think.* I enjoy a good hike. I am a Karoke QUEEN, I'm not gonna lie, I know how to work a party. Alcohol or not, I know what gets a party pumping.

Is it possible to be an introvert AND and extrovert? Is it possible to be a republican with SOME Liberal Tendancies? -My Criminology Professor once thought so. Why do people think that Fake tans are good? Dude, some of y'all look like ya Swan Dove into a bag of Doritos. I kid you not the other day I shook hands with a female oompla loompa, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW FEMALES EXISTED THERE!!! But I looked at my hand later and I couldn't for the life of me remember eating doritos but I recalled my interaction with a Willy Wonka worker.

Oh, sorry had some ADD right there, kinda flew off on a tangent....haha get it TANgent, or TAN-woman.... ok I need to stop I ruined it. Anyways, I had some good questions for a second there. I guess what the point of this post is, to make aware that I have the introvert inside me. Just because I'm quiet and not Boisterously MELFLO doesn't mean there's something wrong. I like to think, and sometimes keep to myself. It's fine, and perfectly happy. Don't worry, you'll know when I'm upset. Haha, I tend to show my upset emotions quite well. If you're reading this, next time you see me, ask me what the 5 fingers said to the face...ok? Sounds good.


Xo,
MelFlo